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all-girls school the wednesday issue

Oh, You Went To An All-Girls School?

October 18, 2018

If my life had an FAQ page, these two questions would definitely make the list. From 7th grade to the first half of 9th grade, I attended an all-girls school. The reason was because it was one of the best school in my city and plus, I’ve already attended its elementary school so where else would I go?

My 12 year old self was nervous. Beyond the usual first day of school questions like “Am I going to make friends?”, one particular question that I had in mind was “Will there be any mean girls?”. Growing up, the representation of female relationships in the media, be it in movies I watch and books I read, are always complicated. Female friendships are often depicted as full of catfights and backstabbing going on which leads me to that question in the first place. So imagine how surprising it was for me when I realised that girls tearing each other down at every corner might be a fantasy.

All-girls school was empowering

There are many words I can use to describe my experience during my time in the school but one word in particular stands out; empowering. Many people were shocked or looked baffled when I said the word. How exactly?

I never felt like I was any less. It was easy for me to believe that I can be whoever and whatever I want to be as long as I work hard. There are definitely time when I doubt myself, but it was more about my own thoughts and feels. No one in the school ever make me feel less. If anything, I know I can always rely on my girls.

Sure, there was competition between the girls. After all, we were all accepted to the school based on merits. However, it was a healthy one and we always help each other as much as we can. I was constantly being surrounded by strong support system. Whenever I had doubt about myself and talked to the girls, the replies were always along the line of “Stop thinking that. You can do it” followed by some of the best advices I’ve heard in my life. It was like having personal cheerleaders around you 24/7.

Gender stereotypes didn’t exist, obviously

You are probably rolling your eyes reading that line. Of course there is no gender stereotype since there’s only one gender. But it’s true! Recently, I read more stories about the low number of females joining STEM fields. That’s science, technology, engineering, and mathematics for you who don’t know. Many of the articles I read talk about how peer pressure and gender bias play a role even from a young age that drive girls away from STEM. Obviously that wasn’t the case in my school. As we were left to our own in a single sex environment, we were free to explore STEM. Even now, there are many girls from my school who took STEM subjects in university and are doing well. I guess, we had more freedom to explore what we like without caring about other people’s opinion.

We were valued for our accomplishments

Honestly, being in an all-girls school was good for my sense of self. I think often time, society taught us that men are more capable of being leaders. However, the all-female environment encouraged and forced us in a way to be leaders. I learned to speak up, to lead, and to take charge when needed. Leadership and resilience were instilled in every single one of us. On top of that, instead of being valued by our looks, we were valued for our accomplishments. It was truly a place where being intelligent and hard-working was highly regarded. Where being confidence and independent was celebrated. Looking pretty was icing on the cake.

Female friendship is not scary; it’s just complicated

One of the biggest lessons I received was about female friendship. When I thought the experience was going to be more Mean Girls, it was more of The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. But instead of pants, it was over-the-knee green and white checkered skirt and knee-high socks. Also, minus the traveling. Like I mentioned earlier, my friends and I were all about supporting each other and be there for each other. There were very few girls being left out. Sure, we all have our own groups of friends but majority of the time, we just mingle and bond with each other that by the time we graduated, we have many different groups of friends. That being said, doesn’t mean that it was all rainbow and sunshine. We had our moments; there were fights and arguments but we learned to communicate and talk about it. Some may not be friends again, but that’s every human relations ever right? It’s complicated but it was nothing to be scared of.

Boundaries? What’s that?

Yep, going to an all-girls school means there’s very little boundaries. Yelling to your friends about needing pads in the hallway? Checked. Taking off your clothes right in front of your friends while changing for PE? Checked. Go to the toilet together and pee in front of your friend? Checked. Talking about your period blood? Checked. There were no topics too taboo to talk about. When I left the school and was thrown to co-ed environment, I have to check myself to make sure that I’m aware of other people’s boundaries. While I’m used to openly talked about most topics, other people aren’t.

I was comfortable being myself

The most important point for me is that I was able to be comfortable in my own skin. When we talk about women representation in society, likeable is the word I often heard and never understood until recently. Based on what I saw, when a woman is described as likeable, it’s often associated with being nice and playing safe. Not too strong or too intense. Being in an all-female environment means I don’t have to worry about that. I was allowed, and in some way encouraged, to be outspoken, independent, and ambitious; the qualities that tends to be frowned upon when you see it in female. Being in the environment, I was allowed to be complex. I could be smart, independent, and ambitious, while being friendly, sarcastic, and having weird sense of humour all at once. I was exposed to the full spectrum of women; in its all messiness and complexity. I don’t have to think so much about what others think of me; the girls in my grade just accept as each other as we come. It was a good place to learn about humans and understand each other; that we are not black and white but rather a combination of colours.

I count going to an all-girls school as one of the biggest blessings in my life. Now that I think about it, it did feel like I lived in my own little bubble but it helped me shape me to be who I am right now. I am now surrounded by feisty, fierce, witty, hilarious, and above all some of the most independent girls I’ve had the pleasure of knowing. To all my girls from school: thank you for being my friends, my teachers, my support system, my guardian angels, and most importantly, my sisters. To quote Elphaba “So much of me is made from what i learned from you” – who knows what I’ll become without these girls. One thing I know, I will never trade my all-girls school experience with anything else in the world.

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NETGALLEY

Professional Reader 25 Book Reviews 80%

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  • *BOOK REVIEW*

There are many stories that hit you once in a while and The Book of Essie is definitely one of them.

The story may start at a slow pace however the writing is suspenseful and will definitely keep the readers engaged and captivated. I couldn’t stop listening to the audiobook, hoping to quickly uncover the truth about the Hicks.

The Book of Essie is very well-written and emotionally driven. I was surprised at how the book just pulled you right in and how invested I was in the story. I was immediately invested in Essie and really rooting for her to get out of the hellhole that is her family.

You’ll learn that there are no secrets that stay in the dark; the truth will always come out in the end. Unfortunately, the Hicks’ truth is the embodiment of the ugly side of human nature. It highlights the ugly truth about this supposedly perfect, loving, and godly family. Their downfall? They put fame and fortune before the wellbeing of their family members.

On the other side of the coin, the story also shows us how the truth can set you free. Through Essie, Rourke, and Liberty Bell stories, we see how much some people are willing to sacrifice and to bring the truth to light in order to set themselves free.

All in all, The Book of Essie is a compelling story. It will stir your emotion and raises questions about our obsession with reality TV and how truthful pop culture actually is.

Full review is up on the blog! You can read it through the link in the bio 🤗

Have you read (or listened) to this book?
  • Happy release day to The Play!

The Briar U series by Elle Kennedy is one of my all-time favourite new adult series. I’ve been reading since the Off-Campus series and my love for these hockey guys have been non-stop ever since. Can’t wait to lock myself in my room and read about Hunter & Demi 🙌🏻 On another note, I talk about my love for new adult fiction on my blog. Link is in the bio for those who want to read. Do you read new adult and do people judge you for reading it?
  • “I want to believe that there’s more. That we could be more. Hell, we could be heroes.” Never have I read a book where the characters are both heroes and villains. In life, one can be both a hero and villain, depending on whose story we’re listening to and I think Vicious did a good job in showing us that through its stories and characters.

Vicious by V.E. Schwab is an interesting read. It  feels like a puzzle and the more you read, the more things falls into places. There are depths in the characters; not always through their words but also actions and interactions.

I believe that Vicious can be the perfect fall read, especially during Halloween season 🎃 👻

#vicious #veschwab #viciousbook #kindle #halloweenreads #bookstagram #bookblog #instaread #bookish #bookaholic #booklove #kindlebooks #thewednesdayissue #autumnreads #fallreads
  • Starting October with a non-fiction 🤓
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One of my reading goals in 2019 is to read more non-fiction. We’re 10 months into 2019 and I haven’t reach my goal yet. I find it hard to find a non-fiction that I really want to read as I use reading as a way to escape to fictional worlds.
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If you can recommend me one non-fiction to read, what book do you think is a must-read? 🤗

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